Opportunity
by kayfabeAU
Summary: Adam reflects on opportunities lost. Slash.


Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.

A/N: Just a one-shot for me to try writing from 1st person.

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**Opportunity**

They call me the ultimate opportunist. I think that title is more appropriate when applied to you.

You - a two-faced, backstabbing, lying bastard.

You saw what you wanted, lunged at the first opportunity, and never hesitated. I wonder how proud your dad would be to see you now.

I wonder how I proud I would have been if only I didn't want the same damned thing.

Damn you, Jason Reso. Damn you for ever calling yourself my friend, damn you for ever pretending to care. When all the while you were just waiting, waiting for the chance to pounce...

"Adam? Adam, are you here?"

The sound of his voice pulls me back to the here and now. What to do, what to do... Hiding is out of the question, since he has probably noticed me sulking on a stray crate by now. I quickly gather my composure, trying to put on a semblance of normality just for him.

"What are you doing, hiding in here? Is something wrong?"

Everything.

Me. Jay. You. Jay and you.

"Do you want to talk or something?"

I look up and catch the worry in his blue eyes. Concern for a friend... or something more? Numbly, I nod my head and he settles on the crate beside me, an arm around my shoulders for comfort.

"Is there something wrong between you and Jay?"

Always straight to the point, my love. Subtlety doesn't work on him, which may be one of the reasons why I am in this position now. I stare at my feet, shrugging and letting him assume what he will from it. He strokes my back gently as if to calm me down, but I am not crying. At least, not yet. We sit there in silence for a few minutes, before he finally speaks again.

"Does it have to do with me?"

I look up at him from shock more than anything else. What does that mean- Does he _know_? And if he does, why hasn't he- Unless he doesn't care for me-

"Because I can always leave him if you want. I don't wish for your friendship to sour because of me."

Oh sweet dear god. He doesn't know and he's blaming himself. His eyes are filled with sorrow and guilt, and his lips are forming the most adorable pout as he tries to figure things out by himself. How can I ever forgive myself-

"No! It has nothing to do with you. Jay and I- We have things to sort out. It has been building up for a long time anyway. But it definitely has nothing to do with you."

My hand rises of its own violation and touches his cheek, stroking it as I try to convey what I cannot say with my gaze instead. My jealousy at seeing them together, my anger at Jay, my sorrow at opportunities missed... He stares right back at me and I can feel the connection, the tension that has been there for a long time, ever since we first met back at the Hart dungeons...

I carefully pull him closer to me, as my free hand tangles in his blond hair. He yields easily, and even closes his eyes as he tilts his head upwards. I close the gap between us, and am about to kiss him when-

"Adam! So there you are. And to think that Jay and I have been searching the whole of backstage for you."

An opportunity lost.

Chris jumps off the crate as if shocked and that breaks me from the spell. I quickly turn to Jeff offering apologies for my absence. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jay, with his arm possessively protecting what is his. There is a glimpse of triumph in his eyes and a smirk that tells me all I need to know.

I feel like breaking down and sobbing. At the same time, I feel like just losing control and tearing him apart.

"Don't. It's not worth it."

Jeff's whisper stuns me, and I turn questioning eyes upon him. He mouths 'for him' and tilts his head to indicate Chris, and suddenly I understand.

Sometimes, opportunities just pass you by.

Chris calls out just as I turn to walk away.

"Adam! Why don't you stay? You can sort things out with Jay now, if you like?"

I look at him, with his pleading eyes, then at Jeff with his knowing ones. I don't look at Jay at all.

"No need, Chris. I don't think it matters anymore."


End file.
